July 15, 2009

i heart NY

I'm off to New York for the weekend for a much anticipated reunion with two of my favorite girls on the planet. And while I'm there I'll be keeping an eye out for these two...

watch your back vanessa.

July 14, 2009

just some words

I am without a doubt one of the clumsiest people on the planet. Today at work I seriously stubbed my toe, smashed my head (hard) into a wooden shelf, and earlier burned my knuckle on the oven. I was thinking that I am the epitome of accident-prone, but I don't feel like that word even begins to describe what I am. Thanks to Thesaurus.com, let's see if we can find something a little more fitting...

(synonyms for "clumsy")

all thumbs
blundering
blunderous
bulky
bumbling
bungling
butterfingered
clownish
crude
elephantine
gauche
gawkish
gawky
graceless
ham-handed
heavy
heavy-handed
helpless
hulking
ill-shaped
incompetent
inelegant
inept
inexperienced
inexpert
lubberly
lumbering
lumpish
maladroit
oafish
ponderous
splay
stumbling
unable
unadept
uncoordinated
uncouth
undexterous
uneasy
ungainly
unhandy
unskillful
untactful
untalented
untoward
unwieldy
weedy

... yeah, I'd say that about covers it.

July 5, 2009

reason #1 I love craig's list

When I get bored, and people aren't updating their blogs (ahh-hem!) I sometimes stumble onto craig's list and read the missed connections for the mall I work at. There are always a ton at the 24hr fitness (which is in our mall - yes, very weird), and the posts are usually men seeking other men. This one is truly exceptional:

Went to the locker room at 24hr to pee, set my drink down on a bench on my way to the urinal... when I finished and went back to get my drink, you were their changing. As I bent down to grab my cup U dropped your towl and my face was eye level with your swinging cock & only about 2 feet away.

Beautiful cock bro, great build & handsome facen too! We were both a little caught off guard as I paused, looked up and checked out your perfect dick, shaved nuts & built bod. I wish I would have at least said hi. Anyway, if you happen to read this & wanna meet up just let me know. Could use a buddy to workout with.


Is it the typos (towl, facen), the detailed sequence of events, or simply the phrase "beautiful cock bro" that are responsible for making this the best craig's list missed connection ever? Who knows, but I am still jealous that it only seems to be gay guys who meet people at the gym. However, the last line leaves me slightly perplexed. Because our friend says, "Could use a buddy to workout with," I'm left wondering if the man responsible for the post is gay, or if he was merely admiring the "perfect dick, shaved nuts & built bod" of what will hopefully be his future gym buddy? I hope not. Call me a romantic, but I want these two to finish what they started! Hopefully the stars will align and these two will be able to find each other again! (Sidenote: I totally think the guy who "dropped" his towel right when the other guy's face was all up in his crotch totally did it on purpose. Thoughts?)

guess who


I was cleaning out my computer and deleting old pictures and random documents and things when I came across this little photo that I had forgotten I had. It's very endearing and childlike, and I'll bet you'll never guess who drew it...

(the answer is not me by the way.)